Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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