Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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