Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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