Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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