I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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