I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
