I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
