life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
