so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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