This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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