Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
