This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
