After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize