Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
