Redeem this text for a blowjob
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
