I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
