Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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