i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
