I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
