Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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