i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
