he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
