Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize