is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
