You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
