We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
