He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize