these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
