I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
this hospital has no fireball
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize