We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
