everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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