i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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