also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize