meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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