Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
