you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
