i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
