I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
