Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
