i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
