covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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