I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
