So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
