it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think I just sharted jello shots
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
