that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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