Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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