You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
They took my balls.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Randomize
