sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
