Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize