Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
