Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize