that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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