ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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