And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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