I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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