He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
