I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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