I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
