They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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