i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
