Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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