my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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